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So you would imagine that having sex would have been completely fulfilling -- the crowning achievement in the worship of my "god." And yet, there was often a lack of fulfillment afterwards. Why is it that sex, if it's so important to me, leaves me with an empty feeling? I then concluded: "I just need more [sex], that's all." (We often think this way about stuff we hope will fulfill us, then doesn't.For example, we get the car we've always wanted, but then it's just "okay" after awhile. There wouldn't be any "emptiness." I've found that girls often don't fully understand what's going on when it comes to sex.I've seen this happen with countless relationships, not just others of my own, but those of many other people.And I think there's a reason for this, which I'll explain next.And while something inside her is telling her it's the right thing to do, something inside the guy is telling him just the opposite, yet he proceeds. For the physical pleasure no doubt, but also, I think, for another reason: it makes him feel like a man.But there is a great irony in that, for what is manly about deceiving a woman?And the guy -- who doesn't treasure his wife because of the sex before marriage -- still wants sex but not as a total bonding experience with his wife. And consequently they'll have better and more frequent sex because they respect each other more and love each other more deeply.Sex is a mysterious thing that causes a deep bond between people, even if we call it "casual." The problem is this: the more I bond with other girls, the less I'll be able to bond with my future wife.
So, finally, I came to the conclusion that premarital sex wasn't all it's cracked up to be. Often a girl will justify sex by saying, "But I love him," even if she doesn't really want to go through with it. It's been said that, "Girls use sex to get love; guys use love to get sex." This is how it works: the girl is picturing marrying the guy some day; the guy is picturing everything he wants to do with the girl before he goes back to tell his buddies about it.I know a newlywed couple who have sex less than once a month because of this -- he doesn't respect her, she knows it, and she doesn't trust him, so she doesn't want to give herself to him.It's very sad, and more common than you might think.Specifically, I've jotted down ten reasons why I'm now waiting until marriage to have sex.When I was in college, I remember having an experience that I referred to as a "love hangover." After being with a girl, the next morning I always felt an emptiness.Maybe it's just built into "the system." But one thing's for sure: I'm not alone. I know many people having marital problems because they engaged in premarital sex.They go into the marriage with lack of respect and lack of trust, two absolute necessities for the health of any marriage.For me, two things happened once I had sex with a girl.As I look back on it, I can say that they happened literally every time, although I was unaware of these dynamics at the time.The two things were this: 1) I lost respect for the girl (even though I didn't want to); and 2) she began to mistrust me (even though she didn't want to).I don't know why this happened, I just know that it did.